chick things I will never understand

I was in an airport a few days ago when a girl giving samples of women's perfumes comes up to me and asks me if I wanted to smell it.

"What the hell?" I thought to myself. And asked "why would I want that?"

"Present for your girlfriend perhaps..?" she replied.

After I had pointed out that I didnt have a girlfriend I was going to buy the perfume for, and duly smelling it out of politeness, the girl continued to be chatty. She asked the usual questions- where are you from, what do you do, how old are you.. etc... "oh, you look very young"

"Is she flirting with me?" I asked myself.. confused. These things dont usually happen in airport shops.

And then she asked a question I've never heard a guy ask another- "whats your star sign?"
"Libra" I replied..

"Ahhh..." she said, as if she'd gleaned some piece of hitherto unknown information,
"And I, am an Aries"..

"errm... thats a goat right?" I asked, not knowing quite how to reply to that one.

Conversation ended shortly afterwards.

Damn I'm smooth.

an oxbridge education

People say that an oxbridge education doesn't count for much these days. I have to disagree. For it was in the hallowed university computer network that I came across some valuable life lessons. Now I don't know about the origins of the learning material but it taught me about three important life concepts.

1. Bitchslapping
2. Smacking upside the head
3. Bitchslapping upside the head


It is true that more than five years ago this exact cartoon taught me about smacking upside the head

i willish i wallas in mmmololo..

A rhyme I learnt as a child went (with interspersed llll's) "I wish I was in monkey land..."

But what I really wish is that I was in Macadamia land. I don't know where Macadamia is but Macadamian nuts are awesome. They are the best of all the nuts. I ate two macadamian nuts today and yearned for the Macadamian homeland. Macadamia is my zion.

Viva la Macadamia