Thursday, May 07, 2009

golden daffodils

Does poetry apply to you in real life?

"I wander lonely as a cloud...."

no Wordsworth I do no such thing. you lying, dead bastard

"but your thoughts will soon be wandering the way they always do.."

yes, its true Bob Seger, they do wander. now just how did you know that you cheeky old rocker?

so we have confirmed a 50% reality check on poetry.

Anyhoo, since you ask (I'll take that penny now thank you) my thought are currently about:

*midget urinals
*honey roasted macadamian nuts
*sheep dogs


About midget urinals, I do not care to elaborate upon that at the present time. bugger off.


Sheep dogs. I have noted that the sheep dogs employed by my office park are remarkably effective at keeping away geese. Yes there is a real problem of geese building nests, settling in and getting menstrual when people approach them. But now there is no geeses in sight. What I would like to to see is something similar with handicapped parking. The average sheep dog should not have any problem scaring off  those damn handicapped drivers and soon we normals will be able to park in those cushy spots without anyone squawking at us. although drivers armed with seeing dogs of their own may pose problems...


In the world of raw unsullied snacks, I enjoy, in ascending order, peanuts, almonds and macadamian nuts. Peanuts and almonds are relatively close and the balance may swing one day to the next. Rock and Roll!   But the macadamian, like kingfisher sporting goods, is the king of good times.

In the world of honey roasted snacks I enjoy (always in this order) honey roasted peanuts and honey roasted almonds. for centuries, philosophers have theorized the existence of a phantom meta uber snack called honey roasted macadamians. Scientific extrapolation of my enjoyment of the raw and honey roasted nuts indicate that I will attain spiritual enlightenment and become a bodhisattva should I consume a single honey roasted macadamian nut. I am pretty damn sure I will like them. the question then is why the **** have I never been fed one. i demand satisfaction. A plague on both thy houses, ye turds