Monday Morning

Where:Times Square
When: Morning morning.
Why:Commute to work/school
What:Small mob of tourists

Khemcho:Why are you stopping?
Me:Isn't that whats-her-face?
Khemcho:Oh yeah. Its Naomi Campbell
Me:Yeah.
Me:She looks sleepy
Khemcho: No wait that Tyra Banks
Me:Oh yeah.
Khemcho: She's ugly.

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Visit the Yahoo! Auto Green Center.

a new age comes

Why do the media reports of imaginary and bizzare creatures continue to increase?

First there are the old school critters like the Loch Ness monster, big foot, jersey devil and sasquatch. Then newer ones like the chupacabra and the delhi monkeyman.

Most recently we have seen the emergence of giant man-eating british badgers in Iraq.

So why in an increasingly technological world are mysterious creatures showing up around the world? It is a sign. Something of immense significance is taking place. Aliens? Weakened boundaries between our space and the demon dimension? A new age for man and magic to live as one? No.

We are drowning in a sea of idiots, thats what. Ignorant hicks are being allowed to talk to reporters instead of being beaten with sticks.

As Harvey Danger said:

" Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a TV"

Shame on you Harvey. No TV? You too are an idiot.

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Gentle Earth

Yesterday i was attacked by heat and humidity and robbed of several gallons of water. Damn you environment! seems like your posse gets more and more brazen every year.

In self-defense I am going to turn on the air conditioner whenever I can. Take that gaia! See what happens when you mess with me. Not only will i be safe from the evil heat, da ladies dig it when you waste energy. You know what they say about a guy with a big carbon footprint...

The other day i went to the zoo and found the animals to be filthy, reeking and slothlike. Nevertheless I felt a need to commune closer with nature and so touched a sting ray's fin. Unlike the dangerous ones you hear about in the news, this one was very friendly. This was probably due to the fact that it was deep fried. Many birds and animals tend to be friendlier and tastier after deep frying and other forms of cooking.

The morale of the story is to turn on you AC full blast, eat fried chicken and watch TV in your underwear. Have a beer while you are at it.

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Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.
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