Nasty bengali disease

A foul, disgusting, irritating, corrupting outbreak/discharge that despite the best efforts of civilized society periodically resurfaces causing public nausea and other debilitating effects. Am I talking about an STD? Heck no, I'm talking about Sourav Ganguly but I suppose that was obvious.

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Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.

associations

burningyellowcandles and the kashewnut were watching the telly. New york city decided to educate them on the risks of puffing on cancer sticks. They promptly went out and smoked cigarettes.

Some days later, with fate and destiny against me I was reduced to washing dishes in the kashewnut's kitchen. He uses a fancy ass detergent called Dawn Direct Foam. This is a stunning breakthrough in the dish-washing liquid industry and will revolutionize the lives of people who don't have dishwashers or Latino maids. That was a trick statement. If you cant afford a dishwasher you cannot afford illegal immigrants. In any case, this wonderful new cleaning aid has an unexpected side effect. It smells like cinthol or perhaps some soap that in turn reminds me of ninth and tenth standard in boarding school. So what does a shower mean to a ninth or tenth standard lad? Some of you have already skipped ahead and I'll help the rest of you catch up. It means wanking. That's right, washing dishes with Dawn Direct Foam reminds of wanking. I hope you are happy now. Turds.

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Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.

tangerine man

And so a lesser being said to me

"These oranges taste like crap!"

And I said unto him

"Yea my son rejoice for those are tangerines, not oranges."

And he who was now blessed by my infinite wisdom said

"In that case, these tangerines are not bad."

And this is the tao of tangerines. yarrr

snapple

everyone knows that snapple makes a delicious peach ice tea and a passable lemon ice tea. They also have a lemonade that I don't fancy too much. And so it has been for all time. No other flavours have existed in the world.

It was a revelation then when someone told me to try their apple flavour. A thrill coursed through my body when i made a connection that no one else in the world has. The very name Snapple must be from an original apple based drink. Yessir, just call me sherlock homey. The logical conclusion of this line of thought is that if the peach ice tea is so good, how wonderful would this snapple apple be? Surely it would be the best apple drink in the world? It turned out to be crap. It seems to be that they should rename themselves to Snapeachicetea. It would be much more relevant and accessible to today's youth. So young, so angry. Damn that rap music!

jungle paani

that translates as jungle water. what it really means is going to the toilet is some dialect or slang.

This is from some baby manufacturing site:

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I am 16 weeks 4 days and like the day of my 4 month mark I felt a little somthing and I just blew it off cause I thought it was too early but each day since when I go to lay down or if I'm like sitting in the car or Indian style I get tiny movements its like whoa thats my baby!
2 Jul 2006 - Ashtan

Ashtan, what do you mean by sitting Indian style? are you refering to sitting cross legged or the jungle pani posture?
5 Jul 2006 - Shapur

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sounds like a yoga position. hence proving that idiots can get pregnant to breed more idiots.

tip tip barsa pani...

...pani ne aag lagayee

it rained one november in delhi of the mid-nineties. lethargic teenagers sprang to their feet. jolted into action they threw open doors and windows. with anxious yells and calls to fellow believers they coaxed the resident cassette player to rewind or fast forward to just the right point.  with clammy hands they raised the volume and ran to the open windows to stare out while G'n'R sang 'November Rain'

And so many years later there was a november rain. Once again I listened to November Rain. It was slightly different this time around. Namely:

1. Precipitation in November is not unusual for New York
2. I had an MP3 player so i could get to the song real fast
3. Not that it mattered as it rained all day
4. I was trapped in a cubicle where i couldn't actually see the rain
5. Had I tried telling anyone of the significance of the rainfall and month they would have called me a nerd
6. Worse yet they would have failed to understand the significance. Damn those kids and their rap music.

good wholesome scientific research

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6108414.stm

This quote sums up the finding of this group:

"Unless we fundamentally change the way we manage all the ocean species together, as working ecosystems, then this century is the last century of wild seafood."

The key point is that good tasty seafood is being depleted. More funds needs to go into such research where scientists will let me know how valuable my stash of sardines and tuna is.

This reminds me of another study:

ImportantSeriousStudyLink