physically, physically fit

*And so I went for an annual checkup solely because i wanted my testicles felt up. That is not why I went but it is true that they were felt up.

*The good news, my weight was 190 pounds which is lower than my estimate of 200 pounds which would have put me in the heavyweight category and prevented me from competing for the cruiserweight title.

*The bad news, my height was discovered to be five foot eight inches, a good two and a half inches lower than what I told the nurse. It was embarrassing and demoralizing. Clearly someone has stolen 2.5 inches and 10 pounds from me. I would like them returned please.

*I also ate an ostrich burger which quite like the overgrown bird was flightless and insipid.

*I went into a costume store and this oversized cockroach caught my eye. It was a two foot long very realistic looking critter. As I admired it, a kid snatched it out my hand, said thanks and ran away with it. Perhaps some sort of vermin rescue mission.

*I went back to the store the other day, under pressure from Zen, and liberated a noble giant cockroach in my own personal vermin rescue mission. I shall call him mini-me...