US Open 2005
And so I have remembered some things about last year's
US Open.
1. I saw Agassi play. He demolished the opponent.
Watching top seeds vs unranked players on the first
day of the tournament just sucks.
2. Statement 1. is partially incorrect. What I saw was
Agassi's bald head play as my seat was directly above
him, several thousand feet high.
3. I saw a very close match between unranked players.
The match was close because both players sucked more
than each other. It was five sets of crap. Donald
Trump was watching that match with interest thus
proving he is a big idiot.
4. After Bhupathi, Leander Paes has had a string of
doubles partners. One of these was Martina
Navratilova. Maybe Paes wanted her for the men's
doubles but I saw them play in the mixed doubles. The
audience consisted ONLY of Indians and Lesbians.
5. After the 2004 US Open I ate a heavy indian meal in
jackson heights and wanted to finish it off with super
heavy and ghee-infused badam halwa. It was nowhere to
be found in jackson heights or 28th & lex(curry hill)
or near alphabet city. In desperation we even checked
desi convenience stores. In one of these stores we
found Sarah Jessica Parker and Mathew Broderick
drinking tea. They are both short and hence big
idiots.
6. I saw an episode of Sex and the City for the first
time recently. Had I know what a shit show it was I
would have smacked Parker upside the head and then I
would have smacked Broderick upside the head too. I'd
hit Broderick maybe once more after that. Short stupid
gits.
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posted by zeminky @ 1:10 PM
3 Comments:
The Paes-Navratilova game was US Open 2004, you short stupid git.
... and 'Sex and the City' has given the postmodern neo-repressionist semianglophobic misogynist feminist movement just the shot in the arm it was looking for. It is a modern day Plato's Republic. It is an institution within itself. Sarah Jessica-Parker looks like a horse.
coroneus, that made me laugh just like i needed.
and there are things more wrong with Sarah Jessica Parker than the fact that she looks like a horse
I just had an idea for a show. Its about guys like me and zeminky, who in criticizing Sarah Jessica Parker are completely ostracized by the female sex, and are left to spend their evenings sitting on the couch watching re-runs of the 'A team'. I'm thinking of calling it "sex with myself in the city"..
And i pity the fools..
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