Nad Men Da

"Mad Men da, Mad Men!" he hollered into his phone.

"Yes, Yes Kogi. No need to get so excited. Everyone has heard about it. Old news."

"Da no! Of course, the show is my super duper favorite an all but I am going beyond 2D watching and all. Do you understanding?

"Am I to take it that you have acquired a 3D TV?"

"3D TV? Why for you are saying stupid thing? Who said anything about new TV?"

"I er...you know what, pretend I hadn't asked anything."

"Yes da! Pretending! That is the thing" Kogi stared enthusiastically at the phone, after all these years still not aware that only his voice would be heard by Zen.

Silence ensued for a few minutes.

Kogi continued to waggle his eyebrows expectantly at the phone.

Zen sighed, well aware of what was happening on the other end. He did some meditative exercises and settled in for a long and painful siege to his sanity.

"Say Kogi, do you want to tell somehting about Mad Men that goes beyond 2D TV but is not 3D TV and somehow involves pretending?"

"Oh da I was thinking you are never asking. You see da, I am pretending to be Mad Men."

"Pretending, Kogi?"

"Very funny da, you are making the fun of me. You should be knowing I am too sharp to be getting made fool of. I am a grown up man who can wipe bum by self."

"Er. I, no..what?"

"Never you mind, anyway I am joining Mad Men reenactment club and all/"

"Ah well now that makes more sense. Good for you Kogi. Surliness, misogyny , scotch. I can see how you would be in to that. So you dress up and act out scenes from the show? Tell me though, I never thought you were the suit and tie kind?"

"Suit? Tie? Da do you sometimes stopping and hearing yourself talk? Nonsense statement da. Of course I am dressing up as my favorit character only. If you are knowing anything about the social mores of the time, you knowing that suit and tie is not what they are wearing."

"I don't follow, you are not one of the primary ad men? I am not actually familiar with the show but it seems that most of them are dressed business formal."

"Da, why for you are wasting my time with this. You should be knowing that my favorite character is Peggy Olson."

"Oh good lord, no. Please for crying out loud."

"Yes Da! I am dressing up in secretary skirt and wearing pearl necklace. Sometime chest hair getting caught in necklace but Don Draper is telling me that it is looking stylish. You are right, as a woman I am crying a lot also."

"When you say Don Draper, you mean a person pretending to be a Mad Men character?"

"Why for you saying pretending? It is real life to me. I am being his secretary caught in office politics and romancings. Peoples are pinching my bums and trying to do hanky panky with me but I am a strong, intelligent woman."

"Oh hey Kogi, I have to go. I left a casserole in the oven." Click,

"Da yeah,cooking, cleaning I understanding. I am doing all those to make my man happy. I am a good woman of the 50s but sometimes I am yearning for more than just a good man, I feel like I am intelligent and could do a man's job as well as them."

"Hello? Hello da? Where for he is gone? Anyway I must go, today is the day I consummate my illicit relation with my co workers. How dangerous and exciting! I think I am will wear pink dress, stockings and my new silver earrings. Must buy more tampons as well, I have run out."

small thoughts

I have seen it one too many times. There is no doubt in my mind that a dwarf works at one of the offices within several blocks of mine. I have seen said dwarf wearing a suit (yes and a tie!) and carrying a laptop bag although the laptop itself seems proportionately small.. Today, I noted that the dwarf was wearing jeans and a sweater and sunglasses. It is casual friday at his workplace. Every time I have seen this dwarf he has been on the phone.

Hence we can conclude that this is some sort of a business dwarf

Geometry boxes

Geometry boxes contain compasses. Introducing children to the joys of a tetanus shot for time immemorial.

brainy songs

my two favourite intellectual instances in songs are:

"pre-raphaelite curls in her hair"  from "Cocksferry Queen" by Richard Thomson.  A very particular variety of curls and I assume this also implied that Ms. Cocksferry Queen should be gazing in an unfocussed manner off canvas while clutching  something. I feel that just makes the song dated. Just would not make sense to people who lived before the 1800's. Not one for the agees, but...

...the most monstrously intellectual song reference is Australian born talent Rick Springfield's "Jessies's Girl"

"I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot."

MOOT! he used the word moot, how many years have I spent waiting for another song to use moot. Rhyme it with cute again, I don't judge-just use it again for pity's sake! Is anyone worthy of using the word moot in a song? In media, it can only use it in the same sentence as Parliament. As in, "the topic must be mooted in parliament". Here in the USA, they only report on the US and there are no *#@$*& parliaments so Alas, I shall perish in this land without hearing it that sacred word again.

P.S. all you songwriters reading, "moot" can rhyme with anything that "cute" can so there is a plethora of precedence here! pick up your rhyme dictionary, Google it I'll try and get you started with some examples:

Mah bitchees be bringing me the avacado

But they be knowing I aint an aficianado

So I'm a gonna bust sum nutz and moot that froot

chorus:yes sir, he gonna bust sum nutz and moot that froot (thrice)

Mah bitchees be bringing me the ginger

And ahm a thinking I gotta injure

Surely they know I be a jain

and for unnerground food I gotta abstain

So I'm a gonna bust sum nutz and moot that root

yeeah

chorus:he gotta abstain and moot that root (thrice)

see? how hard can it be? I believe in you. god speed

Macavity

Macavity, Macavity....

when i was a young lad, i thought Macavity was the most awesome cat of all. Why he even broke the law of gravity! and it is known that there is no like him

now when i am older and worldly wise , i recognize him for what he is, A smug bastard.

f**k you Macavity

Goddam right I can inject rushdie-isms into casual conversation

Whese? Whoase? Whis?



On Jul 19, 2011, at 4:09 PM, Barry the Booger wrote:

> Drinks fri evening

foresight

when i work late in the office and eat a massive quantity of candy and snacks, I take care to throw the wrappers in other people's waste baskets for aesthetic and noble reasons.