Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Kōan brothers ka bada bhai

It is known to me that there exist questions or Kōans that are deep and profound. Things to ponder on that leave on sleepless and distracted. All your thoughts go toward these mysteries and I know you are left frightened and bewildered and wanting your mommy. Is there a god? what happens to us after we die? Why are we here? Who made the universe? And so on. These questions make you pee your bed and buy buckets of KFC chicken. There are no easy answers and like sheep you flock to religion and tv and kfc for solace. Until now....

Out of the great magnanimity of my mighty heart, I will attempt to defuddle and bemystify your fragile eggshell minds and lead you out of ignorance and misery. Of all the questions that float around only one is worthy of my intellect and I will state it in its original form:


Choli ke peeche kya hai?


Hundreds of years ago, in 1993, this question was first raised and people went mad trying to deny the question even. Despite whatyou would expect, it wasn't a hero who asked it, it was a villain. How do we know this? I quote from lore:

"nayak nahin, khalnayak hai wo"

Anyway back to the original question, "Choli ke peeche kya hai?" It very much is a deep and profound question and although I am going to resolve it definitively, lets first take a look at the two main schools of thought here. On one side you have those who say that choli me dil hai mera. A profound statement! Literally, the blouse contains the heart where the emotional focus of a person is allocated. The assertment is supported by the statement, "yeh dil me doongi mere yaar ko, mere pyaar ko". Clearly the physical organ cannot be given to a lover nor the ownership of its functioning Really, its an involuntary muscle. The only commodity to be offered here is the virtual nameplate at the head of the table at the emotional banquet that is the roiling chaos of a human being's feelings. And hence this is a strongly supported school of thought amongst females who forsake logic for the intuitive and surprisingly often valid gut feeling.

Some of you are already clamouring to tell me the other school of thought. Duh! Everyone knows what it is. The clear favourite among male hetrosexuals is that the choli contains boobies. And thats lliterally all this school of thought espouses. And understandbly why else would anyone in that demographic care to ask that question otherwise? No one asks turban ke ander kya hai, do they? No one would give a shit about whats under an item of clothing unless said item of clothing contained booty.

So now is the moment of truth and I will now tell you what is really peechey of the choli. Prepare yourselves. Gird your emotional loins and fortify your spirit for the Great Zeminy has spoken and the answer is boobies. I mean really, isn't it obvious? Whats the alternative? That the choli clothes the torso which contains the rib cage which in turn house the heart that is supposedly the physical manifestation of the the less than well defined or understood state of one's emotional matter and this space also holds the status of the current object of one's desire that can be realloted at will? Utter garbage of an explanation and this is exactly why chicks shouldn't try and do maths or science or drive cars.

Sleep well now, my inferiors, sleep well.