Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Say no to drugs, Say yes to MS Outlook!

Something dreadful has happened. I, Zeminky*, of sound mind and sound body have inadvertently and innocently sent an error report to microsoft.

It all happened one chilly summer day when I was young and naive. The papers said it was August 20, 2008 but i knew it wasn't just that. It was also today. Once again my email application had stalled. If reading work email was like sex, then I had just been KLPD'ed by outlook**.

Somehow, subconsciously perhaps, I agreed to send the error report to Microsoft. It happened so fast. How many hundreds and thousands of time have i been asked the same question and each time I've said no. Every single time I laid down the wrath of my click and stated in unequivocal terms that I DO NOT WANT to report the error. This time the data sailed away merrily, perhaps even anonymously even though i didn't want it to. Or did I? Did i mean to help out the great Satan of operating systems? Am I a sellout to giant monopolists?

But wait, aren't we forgetting something? Isn't Windows but a metaphor for life? Glorious in promise, flawed in design and implementation. Plagued by viruses, populated by sup optimal entities. We complain about it just like we do about our daily lives and yet we do nothing. Do we not see that in not sending valuable and nutritious packets of diagnostic info back to microsoft, we have no one but ourselves to blame for how shitty windows is.

Weep! weep all ye men and women and desis, lament like rodents that today's Vista has bugs because of all your callousness and cruelty for their humble requests for feedback.

In life you must face up to reality and hardship. Don't flinch from what fate throws out at you. People who cannot do this are cowards, escapists, hippies. its EXACTLY the same for windows. All you mac users and mozilla and ubuntu and linux and firefox  and thunderbird users are cowards unable to deal with cold, harsh, inefficient, virus prone reality. You take the easy way out. Potheads all of you. Potheads!

*God of the the universes, King of atheists and the definitive answer to agnosticism
** This is an actual SAT question