How to avoid being a tragedy

There are many news stories these days about domestic violence, shooting sprees, death by neglect, chimpanzee attacks, etc. Horrific, tragic incidents that could be happening to you in your own neighborhood.

Through a detailed study of these cases in the media, I have noticed that there is way of predicting where the most tragic incidents can be expected. This study indicates that someone living in these places is in danger of being the subject of a tragic news story. Be warned, you may be surprised. The most tragic deaths occur in:

Tree lined streets in quiet neighborhoods.

Do you live in such a place? Do you wave to and greet your neighbors each time you see them? Do you have families with children living in your hood? Does everyone around you seem pleasant and cordial? If the answer is yes, your death, when reported about, will be indeed tragic.

If it is any consolation, there will be appropriate levels of shock in response to the police investigation in your house. Rest assured that your friendly neighbors will mutter in disbelief while they recount mundane anecdotes of your interactions with them to the media. Still that is a small consolation to you. The only way to avoid your death being reported as a tragedy is to move out of these tragedy inducing hell holes.

Here is my advice. Move to dingier, dilapidated parts of town. Live in a condemned warehouse. Go to the abandoned waterfront for your living needs. Frequent areas of known gang activity. Be assured that if you die here, your death will come as no surprise to anyone. In fact, once your habits are known to all, there will be smug sense of "he got it coming" or "told you that fool gonna get a cap in his ass" amongst your friends and family. Who doesn't like to say 'i told you so' eh?

What would you rather have your legacy be? Disbelief,shock and the shameful label of a 'tragedy'? no my friend, you need to move to the ghetto.

P.s. avoid becoming homeless, for some inane reason homeless deaths are considered tragic. Its a circle. I suppose its related to how much of the blame of the death can be put upon your own actions. Homeless people are let off scot free for dying of starvation or pneumonia. useless smelly turds.

Next time we will discuss staying away from 'conflct' commodities such as diamonds or blood diamonds as they are know. Does your gas help or hinder terrorism? Here a preview tip, In the supermarket stay away from Blood-Oranges. Children in africa work in underground mines to get those and then as further trauma are put in kanye west videos.