about pork lard and how it saved my marriage

What we need is a service where I can smell all sorts of different cuisines so that I will find it easier to decide what cuisine I am in the mood for. You may think you are in the mood for subtly flavoured Thai food when in harsh cold reality, you are craving greasy, congealed pork lard. You will never know unless you can smell both side by side.

To further improve the efficiency of society I propose that certain professions be consolidated. Redundancy leads to loss of time and higher overheads. Henceforth OBGYNs should also perform Brazilian bikini waxing while they are fiddling down there. Furthermore in the interest of humanity they should cease to use the indecipherable title of 'OBGYN' and call themselves 'Poon Peons'.

The other day I saw a very dusty lady. She was checking tickets at the movie theatre. One of the parsees queried whether that meant poor application of make up. I had to clarify that the lady looked like she had dust on her hair, clothes and face. She also looked somewhat faded. Perhaps it is the fashion this season.

I'm not married but I'm sure pork lard could save anything. Go pork lard, go!

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