KS:Origins

Kogi Kashewnut was lazing aroung his apartment one day. He was stoned and watching his favourite program, Will & Grace. He had just rolled a joint and was looking forward to demeaning himself in front of his peer group. He lit and it and took a long drag holding it in. He exhaled deeply but nothing came out.

"Chey!" he exclaimed. "By my maire, I am confounded!"

He took another puff and another and nothing came out. He jumped and cussed and jumped and rocked himself in the fetal position but nothing happened. There squatting on the floor he was about to give up in despair when he saw a wisp of smoke above his head and then some more. He took a long drag and there was more smoke floating above him.

"Very odd" he thought to himself, "if the smoke isnt coming out of my mouth, my nose or my ears..then where, da?" It was then when he looked at a mirror and knew his life had changed.

Kogi called up his bestest buddy in the whole wide world. "What up Da?!" he yelled.

"Oh, hey Kogi. Whats the matter?"

"Oh Zen, I can't tell you da. I have a new power da."

"Kogi, is this more foolishness?" Zen asked sternly "Like the time you said you could make your hand disappear and all you did was put it in your pocket?"

"Oh Zen, please to be giving forgiveness for that. But by Jove, I am having real superpower, mutant gene, metahuman style. I am being the total X-man!"

"For god's sake Kogi, spit it out!" Zen said firmly but evenly.

"I have developed a superpower...the power to blow smoke out of my arse!!!"

"Your powers have grown indeed. But remember these words young eli maire. With great power comes great irritability. Notably, a dry, scratchy rectum."

Young Kogi did not hear his words. He had been chosen for a cause, the greater good.

"From this day forth, I will be know as the KUNDI STONER, the arse that smokes"

Disguised as a mild, mannered coder the Kundi Stoner works tirelessly to bring truth, justice and disposable ashtrays for all the world.



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