Barry loves fiction

Barry wandr'd lonely as a cloud when all at once he tripped and landed face first on some goat droppings. Along came Captain Ahab who pointed to Barry and told Ishmael
"Aaar. It be the white whale's speckled stale turd"

Out of the bushes, the white rabbit ran up to smack Barry upside the head. The walrus shook his head disapprovingly.

"Mr. Rabbit you'll dirty your splendid gloves!"

The carpenter worked industriously to make some sort of wooden implement which he handed to a a small boy.Young Hiawatha carefully used the paddle to beat Barry on the spinal cord.

Barry leapt up holding his hands in front of him.

"For shame! For shame! Is this what literary figures do when no one is watching? Hiawatha, do you think Pocohontas would approve of this violence? And you, Huckleberry Finn! Don't think I don't see that slingshot. Why you're no better than Injun Joe!"

Both Hiawatha and Huck threw down their weapons and looked embarassed.

Barry stared and them sternly and turned around.

"Brave Horatius. In your day you single handedly defended the bridge across the Tiber against the armies of Lars Porsena of Clusium. Look at you now! Tormenting a booger? Is that courage?"

Horatius mumbled an apology.

Barry began chiding a group of pixies when the most badass literary figure of all time loomed out of the shade. A ragged cheer rang out in the clearing.

An enormous mountain man rode upon on his giant horse Worthless. He dismounted and walked up to Barry and smacked him upside the head so hard that some of the goat pellets fell out of his mouth. Barry began an indignant repartee when the giant picked him up, bent him over and shoved his head up his own ass. He continued protesting but the words were muffled and unintelligible. The giant man finished rolling Barry into an approximately spherical state before kicking him like a football far out of the world of fiction.

And then pulling his wolf head hat low over his face "Mad Amos" Malone rode out into the sunset.