Barry gets Culture

"Can I have some more?" said a small voice.

"MORE?!" thundered the curator. The curator was a rotund old fashioned gentleman with a full moustache and greying mutton chops. He wore a waistcoat and carried a timepiece on a silver chain. At the moment he was peering through his monocle at a booger.

"Please sir, can I have some more?" asked Barry. "More culture that is, guv'ner!"

"Well, well, well well. Well my young booger this is indeed but a warehouse of culture!" boomed the curator "Come with me son and I'll show you all the culture you want!"

And so Barry was led into a large hall where many, many old and beautiful paintings hung.

"See this boy? Its a Goya and that there is a masterpiece by El Greco. Righ here is a Manet! And look a Velázquez!!"

The curator smiled kindly at young Barry. "Well Master Booger, do you know what all these painters have in common?"

"Yes,yes they are all spanish masters" Barry snapped back rudely "What about something that wasnt made 500 years ago? I want to seem something by Matisse or Monet or Degas! Oh please show me a Picasso!!!"

The curator sighed sadly. "Very well then, we are here but to serve the public, yes? Let me take this off the wall for you." He grunted as he lifted a heavy canvas off the wall. Alarms began to wail.

Barry looked worried " What are you doing, old geezer?"

"You wanted MODERN art, isn't it you little turd?" Foam appeared on the curators lips, a vein throbbed on his forehead. "MODERN art, boy? I got your modern art right here. Oh yes, right here" And with that he smacked Barry upside the head with Picasso's Chien.

Barry staggered back, the image of a small dog was smudged on his face.

The curator's onslaught continued "Do you want a Blue Nude? Both Picasso and Matisse have blue nudes. No maybe you'd like to see something by Degas, yes? Here have a shot of L'Absinthe you little turd!" One more smack upside the head. "You got culture yet, boy? Do you really get it?"

And Barry ran out of the museum to sit breathless on the steps in front. People smiled at the sight of that bruised booger. A friendly dog licked his face and then urinated on his leg. But Barry didn't notice any of it.

A deep sense of satisfaction filled him. He said to himself "Barry, old boy you've finally done it! You went out and got yourself culture. Today, Barry ban gaya jantalman!"