A moral dilemma
Today I had to make a critical choice. After purchasing my soup and sandwich, I was obligated to select a free fruit.
I gazed upon a pile of unripe and discoloured apples. The first one I examined had a hole in it. The next was suffering from a dry, flaky complexion. The third one shattered my moral universe. I picked up it and turned it around for inspection and discovered a big-ass bug chilling out on the apple. What could I do?
Should I heroically throw the apple out to protect the lives of innocent bystanders? No its not my apple to throw, it belongs to the store and I'm sure as heck not sacrificing my free apple.
Should I deftly evict the bug leaving no one the wiser? Absolutely not. That was an ugly-ass bug and I wasn't going to touch it.
Should I show it to the owners and let them take care of it as they deem fit? No because that would shame and embarass them.
Someone had to be told, people need to know the truth. But then the bug began to crawl around and there was no time to ponder the question. I was consumed by panic and I asked myself what would Jesus do? How should I know? Then I asked myself what would Johnny Bravo do?
It was then clear that there was only one course of action available for the morally conscientious samaritan that I am. I gently placed the apple (bug et al) back where I found it and took a banana instead.
I gazed upon a pile of unripe and discoloured apples. The first one I examined had a hole in it. The next was suffering from a dry, flaky complexion. The third one shattered my moral universe. I picked up it and turned it around for inspection and discovered a big-ass bug chilling out on the apple. What could I do?
Should I heroically throw the apple out to protect the lives of innocent bystanders? No its not my apple to throw, it belongs to the store and I'm sure as heck not sacrificing my free apple.
Should I deftly evict the bug leaving no one the wiser? Absolutely not. That was an ugly-ass bug and I wasn't going to touch it.
Should I show it to the owners and let them take care of it as they deem fit? No because that would shame and embarass them.
Someone had to be told, people need to know the truth. But then the bug began to crawl around and there was no time to ponder the question. I was consumed by panic and I asked myself what would Jesus do? How should I know? Then I asked myself what would Johnny Bravo do?
It was then clear that there was only one course of action available for the morally conscientious samaritan that I am. I gently placed the apple (bug et al) back where I found it and took a banana instead.
posted by zeminky @ 2:35 PM
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